Any fun plans this Memorial Day weekend? We were going to head out camping with some friends tomorrow, but their kids are sick so we’re looking for a plan b. Maybe Stinson beach! Either way, I’m looking forward to yummy BBQ and some R &R. Tonight though we’re going to see my little sister Katrina (she models sometimes for Say Yes) rock out with her punk band, Baby Ghosts while they’re here in town on tour. Planning on bringing Henry too. I think he’ll love it.

Thank you all for your thoughtful comments from the second post about our struggle with secondary infertility. Stay tuned for one more post this coming week if you’re interested to hear more about the emotional side of it all. It’s been wonderful to share and connect, thank you for all being so kind and open to sharing your own stories. Have a wonderful long weekend, here are some links:

How NOT to dress like a tourist in San Francisco (Piggybacking on Becca’s NYC post from last week. This was fun to write!)

An insane 10 minute video capturing the forming and intensifying of the Oklahoma tornado earlier this week- I hope everyone is okay in that area!

I need to pick up a few of these netted shopping bags

The invitations to this fiesta party are amazing!

Pretty hand lettering on a basic package

This stripe pop up shade would be amazing for summer parties, as would this hammock

An adorable little girls striped romper

Really cute shrinky dink Fathers Day DIY gift idea

Love these DIY confetti launchers on Julep for a party

Beautiful stripey Moroccan beach towels

And,

11 fantastic summer maternity dresses

9 summer wardrobe necessities

Some ideas for perfect summer family vacation spots

11 of the very best baby shower gift ideas

(top image)

I made a beach bag a couple years ago and I’ve been itching to try another version, especially since dust has started to settle on my neglected sewing machine! Today I’m sharing a tutorial for this roomy, sturdy beach bag for summer excursions, picnics, and other outings in the warm sun. I’ve been drawn to black and white lately and thought a bright inner lining would be a perfectly summery addition. Also, adding leather straps makes it feel less homemade and I was surprised how easily my sewing machine managed them! Remember the cute freezer stencil heart tote I made with the leather straps last year? I used rivets but sewing them in is even more sturdy! This might seem intimidating but I promise it’s not difficult- it took me about 2 hours. With lots of snack breaks.

Keep reading for the full tutorial on making one yourself this summer!

Photography and styling by Liz Stanley, red floppy hat and turquoise sunglasses from Target

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This summer inspiration is brought to you by Target. Find more fun and surprises all season long on Target’s #SummerUp Pinterest board.

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Supplies:

1/2 yard of an outer fabric
1/2 yard of an inner lining fabric
Sewing machine and basic supplies
2 leather straps
A snap to hand stitch in

I pulled some basic instructions from Tiny Happy for a lined bag.

Step 1: Choose your fabric. I had a heavier weight cotton outside and thinner cotton/poly blend lining. I while back I bought a bunch of leather straps from etsy in bulk right here. They cost about $5 for a pair.

Step 2: Measure and cut out 2 pieces of 20 x 20 in both of the fabrics. Starting with the 2 outer layer pieces, place both of them right sides together and pin down the right and left sides. I wanted my stripes to not match up evenly so I made sure to cut a bit off and pinned accordingly. Sew the right and left sides on your machine (not the top and bottom yet).

Step 3: After you sew the right and left sides, position your tube so the seam is in the middle, iron it flat and pin along the bottom. Sew along that bottom.

Step 4: Triangle off the two bottom corners as shown below. Measure about 2 inches from the tip and then pin and sew along that line. Trim off the excess triangle after sewing.

Repeat these first few steps for the lining pieces as well. EXCEPT be sure to leave about a 3-4 inch gap in the bottom seam where we’ll turn it outside in at the end.

Step 5: Now it’s time to make the inner pocket before we put the outer and inner together. Cut out a piece about 9 x 9 in the outer fabric.

Step 6: Press the unfinished edges in on all four sides. Sew along that pressed edge just on the top edge. Then hand stitch a snap into place along that seam.

Step 7: Pin and sew the pocket onto the right side of the inner lining fabric. I placed it about 3-4 inches down and centered it with the middle seam. Hand stitch the other side of the snap onto the inner lining fabric as shown below.

Step 8: Now place the lining inside the outer fabric right sides together and pin along the top edge as shown below. Just pin each corner for right now.

Step 9: Now take one leather strap and place it in between the two fabrics so it’s sandwiched between both of the right sides. You are going to bend it so it’s the shape of an upside down U hidden between the fabrics. I pinned them about 4 1/2 inches from the middle seam. Do the same with the handle on the other side of the bag.

Continue to add pins all around the top edges of the bag and then sew along that edge. I was pleasantly surprised to find that my machine ran right over those leather straps no problem! Hooray!

Step 10: Now you’ll reach your hand down to the inner fabric and pull everything outside in through that hole you left in the bottom seam. If you have to remove a couple stitches to fit everything through, no worries, you can fix them later.

When it’s all pulled through the bag will magically appear as you see below!

Step 11: Now iron along that top edge and finish with a top stitch nice and even to hold everything in place. Pull the lining out and sew along that hole to close it off.

And you’re done! Enjoy your brand new beach bag!

Last week I announced our happy news after years of dealing with secondary infertility, and I promised I would talk more about our struggle in the next couple of weeks. Our journey isn’t over, of course. We have to make it through this pregnancy and then even after that face the reality of what this could mean moving forward in growing our family. I was floored by how many of you shared that you were dealing with or have dealt with the same issue. It’s always comforting to know that you aren’t alone in a particular struggle, especially one like secondary infertility that can be a bit misunderstood and feels really isolating.

I know many, many people have had or are having an even more difficult and even longer journey than ours to conceive even their first. My heart goes out to any of you in this situation. Clearly primary infertility is a much larger beast in and of itself. However, I see secondary infertility as a very unique situation that is widely unspoken about, poorly researched and not well supported both medically and mentally in my experience. And yet, so many people deal with it silently and painfully behind closed doors. It comes with it its own set of very unique challenges that I’d like to share with you all.

But first, I wanted to talk a bit today about the specifics of our journey and how we got to this point. Next week I’ll talk about the emotional component of secondary infertility and the struggles I face in that respect.

Keep reading to hear more about our process…

We didn’t really have any issue getting pregnant with our son.  So when we started thinking about having another child 4 years ago, it didn’t occur to us that it might be difficult. Months went by. After a year of trying I went to visit my obgyn and she suggested we talk to the reproductive health team about discussing options. But of course, we were optimistic that we wouldn’t need any kind of help and continued for another year or so trying on our own. Finally after a couple years we met with a doctor in reproductive health. He had suggested trying a few inseminations (IUI) which are relatively noninvasive procedures where they time everything perfectly. It often works, but sometimes takes a few tries.

We were hesitant for a couple reasons. One, the doctor was very optimistic about the ability for us to conceive on our own, two, we were young (compared to many other couples in San Francisco wanting to conceive). So we waited again for a few months. Still, nothing was working. About a year or so ago we started to dive seriously into fertility treatments. After 3 inseminations we did have a success, but sadly a miscarriage a few weeks later. Once again, optimism! Let’s try more! 3 more inseminations and nothing. I was devastated.  There was so much optimism that the failures were that much more pronounced emotionally.

Right after our 6th and final insemination, (I was sooo done with them) to our utter surprise, we conceived on our own. Only to have yet another miscarriage a few weeks later. It was horrible. I found myself feeling depressed, which is not a struggle I normally deal with. It seemed completely cruel to not only have failed insemination after failed insemination but now to start onto a whole other path of recurrent pregnancy loss which just left us feeling very anxious about doing any more treatments at all. We did a bunch of testing about the losses and no red flags came up. But we were still hesitant to do ANY more treatments if they were just to end in miscarriage again.

It was a really really difficult time. I found myself withdrawing from friendships and family. Normally I cling to my female friends (other mothers) in difficult times, but every female relationship seemed just a painful reminder of what we couldn’t produce- a sibling for our son who was getting older and older each day, and how hard we were fighting for something that it seemed as though others didn’t have a hard time achieving at all. It felt like we were stuck in limbo month after month, year after year watching painfully on the sidelines as everyone else seemed to be growing and moving forward with their families.

After doing some research and soul searching we decided to cut to the chase, commit financially, and do an IVF (in-vitro fertilization). We knew pregnancy was possible- our son was a constant reminder of that- and wanted to do the most aggressive thing we could to get there, and as quickly as possible mostly for my own emotional well being. There was a lot involved. Orientations, classes, testing, medications, more classes on how to use the medication. It was huge and took over our life for a while. Then late in the process we, along with the doctor, decided to cancel the IVF based on a mediocre response to the medication I was taking and start over again with a more aggressive protocol. It was a hard decision but if we were going to commit to this expensive and invasive procedure, I wanted to feel like we were giving it our very best shot.

The cancelled IVF was turned into one last shot-in-the-dark insemination, so we wouldn’t waste the multiple eggs that were available. Surprisingly--it worked! Even though the 6 before hadn’t, this one worked for whatever reason!

And things have been progressing beautifully since. The first few weeks of pregnancy I was paranoid with the idea that we would have another miscarriage (and where would that even leave us? trying another IVF only to have a miscarriage again?). Luckily things have been smooth sailing so far. I’ve had several ultrasounds and appointment to hear the heartbeat and just hope and pray things continue well for us. I know we won’t be truly comfortable and excited until this baby is safely in our arms but things are looking up for sure! What a huge weight it’s taken off our shoulders to see that glimmer of light at the end of such a long, dark tunnel.

1. The Shirt Dress from Hatch (above)

This dress is so versatile. I love the beachy way that Hatch styled it. You could also wear it with a leather jacket and some platforms for a night out.

2. Midi Striped Dress from ASOS

This dress is the ultimate everyday casual dress. Perfect for running errands or a day at the park.
It would also look great paired with a Levi jacket!

Keep reading for 3 more!

3.  Water Color Tank Dress from GAP

This tank dress would work great as a cover up! It also could be one of those pieces that you find yourself throwing on over and over again around the house just because it is so cute and comfortable.

4. Polka Dot Dress from ASOS

The possibilities with this dress are seriously endless. I love the way they styled it here, for a date night or night out on the town! I can also picture it dressed down with some flats and a jean jacket.

5. Color Blocked Maxi from Target

More than once I have tried something on in Target not realizing it was from the maternity section. They have really cute maternity wear, this maxi included! It doesn’t get more comfortable than a maxi, perfect for these up coming summer months!

In a couple weeks I’ll be sharing a full house tour, but we recently upgraded our bedroom and wanted to show you some pictures of it. Almost 9 (!) years ago on our honeymoon, Jared and I bought a seafoam color quilt set from a quaint quilt store in the Berkshires of Western Mass. that we were just starting to get tired of. Especially since our good news, I’ve been itching to re-decorate and start fresh. Plus, for a temperate climate like California, it just didn’t make sense in combination with our down comforter. I wanted something darker for this room to feel a bit more masculine so I went with a gorgeous new navy set Serena and Lily sent me. I love the feel of our nice new bedding especially the pickstitch navy quilt which is the perfect weight in my opinion for the temperature here.

Keep reading for a couple more shots of the room and the sources!

Navy sheets, Navy border frame duvet + shams, Navy pickstitch quilt, Navy Kuba throw pillow: all c/o Serena and Lily
Polka dot pillow c/o Proud Mary
Oval table lamps c/o Euro Style Lighting
Yellow ombre pillow and Printed Mosaic pillows from Target
Art by Michelle Armas
Moroccan headboard from West Elm
Vintage bedside tables from craigslist

So, when we went up to Aracata for the shoot I had to pull the film crew aside and explain to them that I was a ‘tiny bit pregnant’ and if they were willing to do a little creative editing to make it seem like I was doing more than I actually was. HA! Luckily they were totally down (David Crowther and Casey Peterson you are the best!). I did end up climbing the tree a bit as you can see below, but then came straight down and they ended up doing a really incredible job editing it especially the zip lining parts which I didn’t do at all.

You’ll have to check it out again below to see what they did, and when I did climb it looked like I was a lot further up than I actually was. Yeah for fantastic video editing and perspective!
 

Hyundai Redwood Tree Climbing – Epic Playdate from Liz Stanley on Vimeo.
Keeping on reading to see how we tried to hide the baby bump and my massive weight fluctuation from the Old Navy shoots…

My poor photographer, Tiffany, from the Old Navy shoot a couple weeks ago about white jeans! She is so great to work with but she totally had her work cut out for her. Not only were we shooting in mid day sun, but I popped out kind of early (I think I was 12 weeks in the photos) and was NOT fitting in those white jeans. Plus I had to do a pretty serious suck-in job while trying to hold a natural smile which totally did not work, as you can tell in this image below we didn’t end up using:

There were a couple points where Tiffany asked me if I felt comfortable in the clothes because I looked like I was in pain, and I kind of was! I vowed after that, no more fashion shoots until after I announce!

Also, the first Old Navy shoot about the spring tees? Oh man I was sooo sick. It was right before I found a medication that worked but I was throwing up multiple times a day and down 11 lbs by 11 weeks of my pregnancy. I looked pretty sickly in the shoot (below) in my opinion. Three weeks later was the white jeans Old Navy shoot above and I had gained a whopping 15 lbs between these two shoots! HA!

I’m so relieved to be able to let my belly hang out now and not have to hid this pregnancy any more! Hooray!

(maternity shopping yesterday, 15 weeks)

First of all, I’m completely overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and excitement you all shared yesterday here on the blog, on twitter, on instagram, etc. Thank you so much for joining me in this exciting step for our family. I’ll still be nervous until I get this babe in our arms safely, pregnancy is the scariest! Yesterday was such a fun day and I teared up reading so many of your loving comments, and especially those that shared a snippet of your own journeys in infertility. Apologies if I didn’t get around to responding to each and every one of your kind words, but know I loved every one.

Next week I’ll talk a bit more about what we’ve been through and the emotional journey for me. On Monday I also have a fun post prepared about the behind the scenes of a few recent sponsored posts (like the Hyundai tree climbing video?)–and the extent to which we were trying to hide the pregnancy! HA! I’ve been wanting to share with you these funny details and now I finally can!

Anyway! It’s the weekend, hooray! Henry is having a sleepover tonight for all the kids graduating to kindergarten. After a graduation BBQ they’ll be playing flashlight tag, having dance parties, flashlight bug hunting, and story telling. Then all the kids will crash in sleeping bags with plenty of adults sleeping over as well. Henry ran in this morning and woke us up yelling, “Today’s the day of the sleepover!!!”. He’s a bit excited. I think we’ll be checking out the Maker Faire tomorrow as well with some friends from Palo Alto (she and I have the same due date- I love when things work out like that!).

Hope you’re up to something fun, Have a great one!

Babble links:

How NOT to dress like a tourist in NYC (love this post of Becca’s–made me laugh out loud! The fedora thing is so true…)

15 of the BEST picks from Ikea right now

All about white denim for summer

10 pretty wallets under $20!

10 clever spring cleaning tips

The most adorable baby shoes

Friends! I have the most wonderful and amazing news to share with you all. After almost 4 years of dealing with infertility issues I’m so excited to announce that we are (finally!) expecting a second child the first week of November. Hooray!!! I’ve had the hardest time keeping this a secret since finding out, but with so much difficulty and heartache getting to this point I’ve been too terrified; and also been in complete shock now that things are so far progressing healthy and happily.

I haven’t really talked much about our infertility issues here, which has felt disingenuous to you all and I apologize. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve drafted up posts in my head, wanting to reach out and share with you all our journey. As much as I wanted to connect with others for support, I also was feeling too desperate and vulnerable to open myself up to advice.

Pregnancy is a funny thing, we don’t completely understand what all happens on the cellular level, and may not ever know why it doesn’t work, or one day after years of treatments and trying, it does work. Our doctor told us once after yet another failed fertility treatment that they don’t understand 90% of how conception happens. 90%!! And this was from one of the most respected practices in No. California! I wanted to feel confident about the path we were on in our treatments and feel good about the care we were being given so it was something I decided to keep private from the internet until we were on the other side of it. I hope you understand.

And here we are! On the other side! Finally pregnant and happy and wonderfully grateful for this little miracle for our family. However, the sting of years of devastating loss and disappointment month after month (let alone the financial costs) is still raw and tender to me, and I’m spilling over with things I want to talk about regarding infertility, and particularly secondary infertility as I feel like it’s a whole different package of unique struggles and challenges. My heart just aches for any of you in the middle of a similar journey for a child and I just want to sit with you, eat a big bowl of ice cream and have a good long cry together over the ridiculous of it all.

So! This post is the first in a series of 3 posts I’ll be sharing over the next couple weeks about our journey with secondary infertility. It will be a good way for me to process what we’ve been through and perhaps might be interesting to some that are going through a similar process, or know someone that is.

I’ve been more excited to start talking about my infertility journey than even announcing the pregnancy so hooray for being able to do both! Today is a good good day.

PS Thanks to my friend Liz of Cotton and Curls who snapped these photos after our fabric shopping yesterday

And as you if didn’t need another excuse for a coffee break…these are the prefect 3 pm treat…

Crust:
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 cup all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 cup rolled oats
1/2 cup butter, diced

Topping:

1 cup raspberry jam
2 cups unsalted mixed nuts (I used almonds, pecans, walnuts) chopped
3 tablespoons butter
1/3 cup sugar
3 tablespoons whole milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

5. Leave to cool, then slice into bars or squares.